{"id":1681,"date":"2022-12-08T22:18:44","date_gmt":"2022-12-08T20:18:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stephenlangfur.com\/?page_id=1681"},"modified":"2025-09-19T16:07:48","modified_gmt":"2025-09-19T13:07:48","slug":"birthoftheself-com","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/stephenlangfur.com\/en\/","title":{"rendered":"Philosophy Meets the Infant"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

 You attend, therefore I am.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Book<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

This book finds the origin of self-awareness in reciprocal attention between infant and caregiver. To use mutual gaze as example: As with several animal species, a baby\u2019s eyes follow a person\u2019s shifting gaze. Evidently, she takes the person to be looking at something. When a caregiver gazes into her<\/em> eyes, the baby likewise takes her to be looking at something. The baby does not see the \u201csomething\u201d but feels it. This is the self in its awakening. You attend, therefore I am.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That addresses the philosophical problem of self-awareness: how what is aware<\/em> can be what it is aware of<\/em>. The two whats<\/em> are mediated by the caregiver. When face-to-face, the infant\u2019s awareness of the caregiver-attending is a condition for awareness of herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This looplike emergence of self is termed a \u201cYou-I Event.\u201d The first chapters show how these Events generate basic features of self-awareness: that I exist, am aware, am embodied, can act on the world, have feelings distinct from others\u2019 feelings, and continue to exist when alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now comes a major turn in human life: Because the infant\u2019s existence as a self depends on You-I Events, she dreads separation from her caregivers. On acquiring language, she quells the dread by playing them toward herself in speech. Such \u201cself-talk\u201d internalizes the You-I Event; she feels as if attended to by the internalized others. From now on she will use inner speech to secure the sense of her own existence. Thus arises the kind of self who, alone by the fire, can talk to itself and realize, \u201cI think, therefore I am.\u201d The original Event has gone into eclipse (which is why the You-I account is initially counterintuitive), but a longing for it persists beneath life\u2019s surface, finding indirect expression in love, work, art, conversation, religion, and ethics (each of which gets a chapter).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
Chapter 1<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
\ud83c\udfa7 Podcasts<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Endorsements<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
Order the book<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Contents<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Part 1: The You-I Event in infancy and why it disappears<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

1 Introducing the You-I Event<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2 Born to connect<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3 Becoming I through a You<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4 Counterfeiting the You-I Event<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Part 2: The You-I Event after infancy<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

5 Heidegger\u2019s hammer and the spectral You<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6 Love and the precluded You<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7 The split-off self in action<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8 The You-I Event in art<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9 The You-I Event in conversation<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Part 3: Philosophical issues<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

10 Other accounts of self-awareness<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11 Free will and the You-I account<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12 The call of conscience<\/p>\n\n\n\n

13 God or the precluded You<\/p>\n\n\n\n

14 What can be done<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Appendix<\/strong>: Replies to imagined critics<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Acknowledgments<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

 You attend, therefore I am. This book finds the origin of self-awareness in reciprocal attention between infant and caregiver. To use mutual gaze as example:…<\/p>\n

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He then helped rebuild the Honors Program (now Honors College) at the University of Houston, teaching in it for three years. The promise of peace in the Middle East lured him to Israel in 1979, where he favored hiking over academe, becoming a guide. A decade later, he wrote in his first book: \u201cWhen I was ten years younger and full of hope, I departed the USA with wife and daughter and moved to Israel. What follow are notes from an army cell, to which I have been sentenced for refusing to go into the West Bank against the Palestinians.\u201d \u2013 Confession from a Jericho Jail (Grove Weidenfeld, 1992, now published in a 2nd edition by Fomite Press). After his release, Langfur discovered that new findings in infancy research supported the idea of his dissertation. He presented it in philosophy and psychology journals \u2013 and now in Philosophy Meets the Infant.","sameAs":["http:\/\/stephenlangfur.com","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/stephen.langfur","https:\/\/x.com\/StephenLangfur"]}]}},"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1911,"url":"https:\/\/stephenlangfur.com\/en\/endorsements\/","url_meta":{"origin":1681,"position":0},"title":"Endorsements","author":"Stephen Langfur","date":"June 20, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cPhilosophy Meets the Infant\u00a0is a short book, yet it reads like an epic. It guides the reader through a gallery of scenes from the perspective of the infant, creating a new language as it goes along. In dialogue with philosophers and psychologists, Langfur offers a compelling, new unifying perspective on\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":985,"url":"https:\/\/stephenlangfur.com\/en\/publications\/","url_meta":{"origin":1681,"position":1},"title":"Publications","author":"Stephen Langfur","date":"January 1, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"I first wrote about the You-I Event in my doctoral dissertation at Syracuse fifty years ago. At that time, Jean Piaget seemed to have the last word on infancy. After three years of teaching at the University of Houston, I immigrated to Israel, training as a tour guide. During a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"Stephen Langfur","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/stephenlangfur.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Steve-close-up-2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1928,"url":"https:\/\/stephenlangfur.com\/en\/a-podcast-about-philosophy-meets-the-infant-by-stephen-langfur\/","url_meta":{"origin":1681,"position":2},"title":"Podcasts \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8 \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddf8 \ud83c\udde9\ud83c\uddea","author":"Stephen Langfur","date":"June 20, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"\ud83c\udfa7 In English: A discussion of Philosophy Meets the Infant, Chapter 1: Introducing the You-I Event. The podcast is a result of interactions between the author and NotebookLM. \ud83c\udfa7 In Spanish: Una discusi\u00f3n con IA de La filosof\u00eda se encuentra con el beb\u00e9, Cap\u00edtulo 1: Presentaci\u00f3n del Evento T\u00fa-Yo. \ud83c\udfa7\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":192,"url":"https:\/\/stephenlangfur.com\/en\/stephen-langfur-on-the-philosophy-of-dialogue\/","url_meta":{"origin":1681,"position":3},"title":"About Stephen Langfur","author":"Stephen Langfur","date":"January 2, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo: davidsheerman.com Stephen Langfur received a doctorate from Syracuse, in which he presented his theory of the You-I Event. He then helped rebuild the Honors Program (now Honors College) at the University of Houston, teaching in it for three years. The promise of peace in the Middle East lured him\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/stephenlangfur.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/cartoon-of-steve-as-guide.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/stephenlangfur.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/cartoon-of-steve-as-guide.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/stephenlangfur.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/cartoon-of-steve-as-guide.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/stephenlangfur.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/cartoon-of-steve-as-guide.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stephenlangfur.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1681","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stephenlangfur.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stephenlangfur.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stephenlangfur.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stephenlangfur.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1681"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/stephenlangfur.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1681\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2556,"href":"https:\/\/stephenlangfur.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1681\/revisions\/2556"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stephenlangfur.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1681"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}